First Impressions

We figured out quite early in our adoption journey that we would like to adopt siblings so when we were told we had been linked with a two little siblings, we both were very emotional and couldn’t believe this was actually happening. It felt surreal but excitement and nerves kicked in and we began to plan what our lives would look like.

Joyful

One memory which always makes us smile is remembering when they were running around and around the kitchen together with their T-shirts over their heads and blankets on their backs shouting “Superheroes, superheroes!”

Like any parents, remembering the first steps, the first wobbly bike ride, the first time they call your names are all joyful memories but there is something extra-special in the memories of them starting to do things together like walking along and taking each other’s hands or just getting each other into fits of laughter. Our children didn’t live together before living with us, so they needed to build a bond and now they want to do things together and spend time together. Seeing our two wee children hold hands and play together makes everything worthwhile.

Surprising strengths

We see that in how they support each other and how that bond keeps growing and growing. Our daughter will bring a cuddly toy to her brother if he is upset and our son will always watch out for his little sister if she is at a play park, he will make sure no one goes down a slide when she is going.

Building new memories

We have built so many memories in such a small amount of time. We have done many big things like holidays together but it’s the smaller things that have meant the most.

When our son went from his balance bike to his “big-boy” bike with pedals he was scared to try for a few months and then one day when he was ready he hopped on his bike and pedalled down the drive and just completely nailed it. He was rightly proud of himself, he was awesome. This determination has shone through with him from day one.

When our daughter walked for the first time and we got to experience it with her she had a look of such achievement, surprise, excitement and nervousness on her face. She did it and we got to be there for it.

Parenting siblings

Their connection and bond is so strong and they support each other through everything. Our younger daughter brings teddies to our older son if he is upset and asks are you okay? Our older son makes sure if our daughter is going down the slide that no one pushes her and looks out for her all the time.

Building memories

Memories are built every day. The tiny things are massive to us and the bigger things are tremendous like:

• First steps
• First words
• First bike ride with no stabilisers (yup at 3…very proud mum and dad!)
• We have travelled together very long distances and the kids managed better than us adults
• Writing his name
• Drawing a stick man when he was annoyed because he couldn’t do it and then next day he was drawing a stickman
• Beach days
• Friday night treat nights

Keeping their story

Our two children can and do support each other every day. Our daughter is very naturally empathetic and gives such strong support to our son, which I think only siblings can do for each other.

Our son is supportive and encourages his younger sister to achieve goals such as first steps and first words. He sits with her and tries to go through how she should pronounce words. Our son explains to our daughter about family life and asks questions which we openly talk about their past to both children.

Our two definitely do better together than they would have done separately and we have no doubt that their sibling connection will make them more resilient throughout their lives.

Advice for others

Adopting siblings is a big challenge but it is hugely rewarding. It has taken a lot of resilience, patience and nurture to create the environment for our kids to attach and to flourish. Things don’t always go smoothly; you have to accept that you as a parent won’t always get it right and that learning is a big part of becoming a better parent for your children. Though our children come from the same birth parents, their personalities and life experiences are different and you have to meet their needs as wee individuals as well as siblings. For this we have found that taking our kids on little individual “dates” to the cinema or for a cycle etc goes a long way in strengthening our relationships.