18th July 2024
As part of our ongoing partnership with key sporting organisations across Northern Ireland, we spoke to Armagh LGFA star Lauren McConville along with her mum, Michelle, whose family have been providing regular short breaks for children and young people for nearly 12 years. Lauren and Michelle share their experiences as a fostering family, explaining how they’ve made it work in a busy sporting household and what fostering has brought to their lives.
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There is no doubt that Lauren McConville, Armagh LGFA star comes from an accomplished, sporting family. Her uncle Oisin is an All-Ireland winner and top pundit, her father Jim played for Armagh and her brother Cian and three cousins Rian O’Neill, Oisin O’Neill and James Morgan all grace Armagh’s current senior men’s GAA panel. However Lauren is a determined, talented and highly motivated young woman who has made her own mark in terms of her sporting achievements. There are far too many accolades to name but in addition to winning Ulster and League titles for Armagh and Crossmaglen, Lauren won an Aussie All-Star, Ulster All-Star more than once, Ulster Schools All-Star and was top scorer in an All-Star exhibition match in Texas. Lauren was also a talented camogie player and played alongside her mother Michelle and sister Aoibheann. What is perhaps less well known, is the contribution the McConville family has made to foster care off the field and how their skills and qualities in sporting arenas have helped them in this regard.
Lauren has grown up with sport all her life and her earliest memories are of watching videos of her dad playing for Crossmaglen and going to camogie to watch her mum play and train. Lauren and her mum Michelle laughingly recalled various stories of Michelle juggling her responsibilities as a mum of young children whilst trying to still participate in camogie. It is clear this became a way of life and for sporting families who are familiar with organising meal times, laundry washes of sports kits and fitting in schoolwork and bedtimes, it sounds all too familiar. One might say with so many commitments there would be no space to take additional responsibilities and you would be forgiven for asking ‘sure where would they get the time?’
Start of their Fostering Journey
In 2012, Michelle and Jim discussed with their birth children their interest in fostering and the family decided to take forward their interest and apply to become foster carers for HSC NI Foster Care. They felt they could offer a child/children opportunity to have positive experiences and an environment to acquire new skills. Whilst they believed sport offers people a sense of belonging and a community support network, they also wanted to mirror this in other ways.
Sharing a Foundation of Stability and Consistency
Michelle shared a recognition that her children had been very fortunate in having a foundation of stability and consistency, but as parents they hoped to increase the empathy the children had for other young people who may not have had the same opportunities. Lauren reflected: “I have enjoyed getting to know children over the years and in many ways have felt more protective and nurturing with them than my own siblings. It has been rewarding to share in their development and to understand the challenges they have overcome.”
Providing Short Breaks and Benefits for Whole Family
One young girl comes to stay with them on a regular basis and has become an extended part of their family network. “She loves that myself and Aoibheann are like older sisters and enjoys wearing our clothes and having a different sort of relationship. I am really fond of her and she
brings out a better side of me,” added Lauren. Michelle shares this perspective and indicates that for many who consider fostering they may be concerned about the impact on their children and household but she maintains “for our family I definitely think there were huge benefits and I would consider that our children developed more empathy and social awareness. They became more mature and would be more tolerant.” Lauren agreed with this readily saying “Both sport and fostering encouraged me to take a role of responsibility and support for others and this has benefitted me later in career decisions and my job as a project manager. Many of the skills I have learned and my ability to integrate with people through the fostering experience have been transferable in a work setting and have been invaluable in making me who I am.”
Building Relationships
Lauren is honest in relaying that some children have transitioned and fitted in with the family better than others. “Humour is a big characteristic for our family and often we can enjoy the funny side of situations. However adjusting to new people in your home can create a bit of initial
discomfort before you are in sync. Establishing relationships with people you haven’t grown up with can take a little time, whereas other relationships can be more instantaneous. Anything that is rewarding though usually takes investment and work in order to feel some gain. It’s similar to sporting achievements in many ways – winter training for football feels incredibly worthwhile when we are celebrating a win and through sport you learn that hard work reaps rewards. Fostering is similar in this respect. You invest some time and effort and then feel great when you see young people develop and feel you may have played a part in that.”
GAA Community Away from Home
Lauren shared stories of her time in Australia when she took the decision to leave home, family, community and her beloved GAA to experience some travel in 2018. In Sydney though, Lauren found she needed to re-create a sense of belonging she had at home so she joined a GAA team in Sydney. “The GAA was a massive part of my experience over there and being part of that family helped curb any homesickness. I consider myself fortunate to have joined, and enjoyed so much success with the Michael Cusacks club in Sydney and also got the opportunity to represent New South Wales in the inter-state championship, which we won. I played camogie for the club too and the standard in both codes was very high with so many Irish ex-pats present,” explained Lauren.
“I also worked on a farm in Victoria playing Aussie Rules. I really enjoyed it and it gave me a good opportunity to mix with the locals. I’ll be honest I don’t think I would have settled without the like-minded people of the GAA community who helped practically with accommodation and employment.
In many ways, I think fostering is similar to what the GAA does. It offers others a sense of inclusion and belonging with people who look out for you. I like to think our family has offered that to some young people and they have enjoyed their time with us.”
“Make the call – ask the questions”
When asked if she they had any advice for people in the community who may consider fostering, Michelle urged, “Make the call, ask the questions, it’s worth at least finding out more. Don’t be deterred by thinking it needs to be families who are perfect – there is no such thing! Similarly people may feel they are busy; they work, play sport, have commitments with their own children but I believe sporting families are used to finding some balance and being busy and that makes them the perfect candidates. Take the next step and there will be people to support and guide you through the process and beyond.”
Lauren shared her advice: “You grow and learn through this process and it is definitely worth doing. Sports creates bonds but the bonds created through fostering come with great significance and meaning. You won’t know if you don’t give it a try!”
If you would like to find out more about fostering, get in touch with us for an informal chat:
Call 0800 0720 137 or fill out our short online enquiry form